Paris Hilton is opening up about the infamous sex tape that was leaked 14 years ago in her new film The American Meme.
The 37-year-old heiress spoke about the 2004 leak of the intimate video, which also featured her former boyfriend Rick Salomon, in the new documentary.
“It was like being raped,” she says in the film, according to USA Today. “It felt like I’d lost part of my soul and been talked about in such cruel and mean ways.”
“I literally wanted to die at some points,” Hilton continued. “I was like, ‘I just don’t want to live,’ because I thought everything was taken away from me. I didn’t want to be known as that.”
Hilton attended the premiere of The American Meme at the Tribeca Film Festival on Friday night and spoke about her motivations for appearing in at during a Q&A after the screening, USA Today reported.
“I felt like the world was introduced to me through The Simple Life. There was no reality television back then, so it was very new,” Hilton said. “There was no social media, so I basically created this character that was basically what I thought the audience wanted, like, ‘Oh, she’s rich, so she needs to be a spoiled airhead’ — basically what the producers told me to do.”
The film, directed by Bert Marcus, follows Hilton and other social media influencers such as Brittany Furlan and Josh “The Fat Jew” Ostrovsky.
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“When Bert told me about this film, he basically said, ‘Paris, you’re the O.G. of all this.’ I really trusted him and was very vulnerable about things I had never spoken about before, and basically just wanted to show the real me, because I don’t think I ever have before,” she revealed.
Hilton is set to marry fiancé Chris Zylka, who proposed to her in January on a ski trip with a 20-ct, $2 million diamond ring. She told PEOPLE earlier this month she was looking forward to starting a family with the actor and really wanted “at least two” children.
“I loved growing up in a big family with four kids, with two brothers and a sister,” Hilton she said at the Colleagues Luncheon on Tuesday at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel. “I want at least two.”
She added that she would “definitely want a girl first.”